AA and Al-Anon Slogans: Progress Not Perfection

Al-Anon has some excellent slogans for relieving stress and achieving some emotional balance. 'Progress not Perfection' is very healthy slogan. No one person is ever a finished product. Seeking perfection in yourself or others is a black hole. By that I mean, constantly striving to be perfect in every way or by expecting others to do so, is a sure downward spiral in anxiety and depression.

Shouldn't I strive to be the best person I can be? Absolutely. And the key parts of that phrase are 'strive' and 'best I can be'. Strive is an infinitive verb, not a superlative or comparative. We aren't running a race against anyone. We are climbing a mountain. The only competition is to strive for personal best. Life can't be a competition because the playing field isn't level. And we are not automatons that can be calibrated. We are complex multi-dimensional organic creatures. We each of us carries her own back pack of variables, life experiences, learned behaviors and coping skills.

Stress abounds when I turn every aspect of life into a competitive match. Who is the prettiest, wealthiest, smartest, best singer, best baseball player, most popular? Some situations present unavoidable competition; others are artificially constructed to be competitive (coping in the workplace for example). As much as possible to reduce stress and live in health and peace, concentrate on your personal best, regardless of what others would, should or could do.

And what constitutes 'personal best' changes from day to day. Some days, I can almost move mountains. Other days, it's a chore to lift my head off from the pillow. Strive indicates a ongoing, one day at a time process. Life is a journey, not a destination. We fall off the bike, get derailed and fail. But the path is still there waiting. Life has no deadline, no finish line, no time table. This doesn't mean I shouldn't set personal goals. But if the goal is unrealistic, or for whatever reason, I can't or don't complete the goal, there is absolutely no reason to despair.

Often we set such lofty and unfair goals for ourselves that failure is a given. Try setting smaller, more realistic short term goals. You weren't able to write 10 articles in a day? Don't feel guilty. Reset your goal to a more manageable one; try for 3 a day and then when you do 5, you can feel like a super hero. Be nice to yourself. Reward the effort as well as the success. Time is a continuum; it's not static. If I don't finish college this semester, do it next semester. Try again. And again.

Al-Anon has another slogan the gels well with 'practice not perfection'; 'don't quit quitting'. Said differently, 'keep on keeping on.' The worst thing you can do to yourself, and this sends stress cortisol levels through the roof, is to berate and antagonize yourself. Doubtless if your friend was suffering, you'd be there for her. Now be there for yourself. The more a person practices his own program, the healthier we all are. For more Al-Anon slogan meditations, visit me at www.emotionalhealthhelp.blogspot.com.

12 Step Slogans for Emotional Health

Feel like you're up to your neck in hot water? Depressed or angry and don't know how to cope? Learn how to manage emotional issues with 12 step slogans! 12 Step programs like Al-Anon and AA have proven successful in the treatment of all sorts of emotional issues. Depression, anxiety, addiction, bi-polar, eating disorders, OCD and other emotional health issues respond well to 12 Step programs. Here are some reflections on the Al-Anon and AA slogans. 

These slogans have helped me manage my anxiety attacks much better. Most of us would probably agree that stress levels, dysfunctional behavior and the need for mental health help is escalating in our busy world. You've heard the slogan, 'half of the US is on anti-depressants and the other half should be'. perhaps? This is an indictment more of the insecure structure of the world in which we live than in our failing abilities as humans. So words like 'coping' 'stress-relievers' , a plethora of acronyms like ADD, ADHD, OCD, PMS, IBS and a multitude of other lifestyle diseases and nervous conditions pepper our vocabulary.

There are treatment, drugs, therapies available; most are expensive and all of them require that you practice some form of self-help techniques. And that is appropriate. If I wait for someone else to make me well, it isn't going to happen. Even if I am a praying person, I have to take some initiative. So why not begin the self-help techniques now. One of the best programs that I have found and used is the 12 Step principles of AA and Al-Anon. The whole premise of AA is to 'work your own program'. Many of us have suffered at the hands of others. But if we wait for someone else to 'get help' or 'make it right', it probably will never happen and worse yet, we miss precious chances to work at healing our own thinking and behavior. No one else has the power to make us whole, except we ourselves.

One of my favorite part of the Al-Anon program is the slogans. The slogans are just short simple sayings that contain an ocean of wisdom. For me they are like mini prayers or even mantras. I have always had this bad habit of practicing what I call 'emotional self abuse'. My mind with out any clear consciousness on my part will begin to play a series of very hurtful and toxic tapes. I rehearse all my errors and faults, I call myself names, I criticize every little thing about me. Pretty soon, I am putty in the hands of anyone who wants to take pot shots at me. And unfortunately, even in the happiest home or workplace or social situation, we hurt the ones we love. So I am even more vulnerable to anything anyone says, even innocent remarks or common occurrences can shake my sense of self to the core when I am already on a downhill roll in my own head anyway.

So I practice saying these slogans to myself daily. Now a lifetime of prior negative messages will take some time to erase and tape over. And recorded tapes, are literally and metaphorically magnetic: what touches them sticks to them. And repetition is the best way to learn something, right? That is how people are 'brain washed' so to speak.

So I must literally meditate on the Al-Anon slogans, these little nuggets of wisdom many times a day. I am repairing the damaging messages and replacing them with new healthy messages. And when life does fall apart, as it does on a pretty regular basis, and my subconscious goes into auto pilot, I have a new set of tapes that begin to play. So that when a major problem occurs, instead of the old 'tapes' which played 'You're an idiot, you should have known better, what were you thinking' and other nice stuff like that. my brain is playing some new tapes.

Easy does it.
One day at a time.
Keep it simple.
Let go and let God
Think.
How important is it?
Just for today.
First things first

These 'tapes' and others in the program I can stay glued listening to.

When I use the slogans, , they are most instrumental in bringing about inner peace, even when situations are in chaos. All it takes is time and practice and the rest of your life. Because it is a one day at a time process. We fall off the bike, but we get back on. 'But like Charlotte in Charlotte's Web says, that's what we've got isn't it? A lifetime...'