Quit Letting People Take Advantage of You, Manipulate You

 I've always let people take advantage of me. I've been embarrassingly easy to manipulate. I have what IFS Growth Patterns calls "people pleaser pattern" personality. It stems from low self-esteem and an over-active conscience. I'm an empath. I can't divorce others' pain from mine. This weird melange has destroyed my mental health and ruined relationships. But I'm not letting it anymore. To heal, I'm getting out of the passenger seat and taking over the wheel of my life. This heals relationships, too. Here's how. Quit Letting People Take Advantage of You, Manipulate You

Quit People-Pleasing, Take Care of Yourself, Heal Relationships

Our priest asked last Sunday at mass, "What is your biggest sin?" Thinking about it, mine surprised me: fear. My worst life choices have been motivated by panic or anxiety, mostly fear of displeasing others. I routinely do what I think others want, to avoid hurting them. It's part of the codependent behavior 12-step recovery gurus like Melodie Beattie speak of. IFS Systems refers to it as a "people pleasing pattern." By whatever name, this over-care of others manifests as lack of self-care. It's making me miserable and hurting my relationships. Sound familiar? Read on. We'll explore together how to quit people-pleasing and start pleasing ourselves.Quit People-Pleasing, Take Care of Yourself, Heal Relationships 

You Lost Weight, Now Lose Fat Blues: Diet Depression

 At 100 pounds overweight, I thought dropping pounds would make me happier. At 70 pounds gone, I feel better. But being thinner isn't a magic mood elixir. I need to lose fat blues along with weight. Here are "happy pills" to salve diet burnout and depression.

* See pants half empty, not half full. Whatever your weight, focus on positives. Recognize progress. Quit agonizing over fat that's there and celebrate what's gone. Yes, I just said the same thing three ways. We overweight folks berate ourselves constantly and need it repeated. Get an attitude makeover; start being nicer to yourself. Read more You Lost Weight, Now Lose Fat Blues: Diet Depression

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Freelance writer, Top 100 Yahoo! Voices, Yahoo! News, Shine, Michigan, Detroit), blogger, teacher, mom of 4, happily married 25 years. Graduated GVSU 1986, psychology/general education and special education. continuing ed up to present. Certified MI teacher. Writing Michigan history mystery, children's Gothic fantasy. Areas of expertise: education, relationships, mental health, nutrition, history, world cultures. Passions: faith, Catholic church, sustainable living, interfaith initiatives, living simply that others might simply live. Working on MA in EI education. 

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