Healing Relationship Communication Barriers with Constructive Arguing

Arguing in relationships? That can't be right! That's not communicating, just fighting! That depends on how you argue--what you say, how you say it, what your purpose is. WebMD quotes psychologist Susan Silverman who advocates" constructive arguing." Here's what to do and what to avoid to improve communication and relationships.

* Make the relationship priority. Don't come to the bargaining table with a self-serving agenda. Do what's in both your best interests. Act like the teammates you are. My husband and I act defensive by habit, though neither feels antagonistic. We tried arguing each other's point and discovered a whole new way of connecting.  Healing Relationship Communication Barriers with Constructive Arguing

Quit Letting People Take Advantage of You, Manipulate You

 I've always let people take advantage of me. I've been embarrassingly easy to manipulate. I have what IFS Growth Patterns calls "people pleaser pattern" personality. It stems from low self-esteem and an over-active conscience. I'm an empath. I can't divorce others' pain from mine. This weird melange has destroyed my mental health and ruined relationships. But I'm not letting it anymore. To heal, I'm getting out of the passenger seat and taking over the wheel of my life. This heals relationships, too. Here's how. Quit Letting People Take Advantage of You, Manipulate You

Quit People-Pleasing, Take Care of Yourself, Heal Relationships

Our priest asked last Sunday at mass, "What is your biggest sin?" Thinking about it, mine surprised me: fear. My worst life choices have been motivated by panic or anxiety, mostly fear of displeasing others. I routinely do what I think others want, to avoid hurting them. It's part of the codependent behavior 12-step recovery gurus like Melodie Beattie speak of. IFS Systems refers to it as a "people pleasing pattern." By whatever name, this over-care of others manifests as lack of self-care. It's making me miserable and hurting my relationships. Sound familiar? Read on. We'll explore together how to quit people-pleasing and start pleasing ourselves.Quit People-Pleasing, Take Care of Yourself, Heal Relationships 

You Lost Weight, Now Lose Fat Blues: Diet Depression

 At 100 pounds overweight, I thought dropping pounds would make me happier. At 70 pounds gone, I feel better. But being thinner isn't a magic mood elixir. I need to lose fat blues along with weight. Here are "happy pills" to salve diet burnout and depression.

* See pants half empty, not half full. Whatever your weight, focus on positives. Recognize progress. Quit agonizing over fat that's there and celebrate what's gone. Yes, I just said the same thing three ways. We overweight folks berate ourselves constantly and need it repeated. Get an attitude makeover; start being nicer to yourself. Read more You Lost Weight, Now Lose Fat Blues: Diet Depression

Free (or Cheap) Mood Lifters, Stress Busters, Pick-Me-Ups

Depression. It's everywhere I look. Medicated or not, more people seem to getting less satisfaction from life. Here are free (or cheap) mood lifters and stress busters.

* Avoid drugs. I don't say this pedantically, but from painful experience. I took Paxil for several years. It caused health problems, didn't help depression and left me dull and listless. I believe it caused me to give birth to a stillborn baby. It was mentally addictive. I put on 100 pounds taking it. If you take antidepressants, get brand facts and don't expect a panacea.
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Banish Winter Blahs or (at Least) Balance Blues and Bliss

The calendar says "spring." Days are longer. Birds are twittering joyously, emerald shoots peek up from melting snow and spring-new sun shines gloriously. Why then, when the world is coming alive, do I feel blue? Here are reasons, plus spirit-lifters to beat depression or at least balance winter blahs with springtime bliss!read more

Winter Blues Busters and Spirit Lifters

The calendar says "spring." Everything is sunshine and flowers. Why then, when the world is coming alive, do I feel blue? Here are reasons, plus spirit-lifters to beat depression or at least balance winter blahs with springtime bliss!   Banish Winter Blahs or (at Least) Balance Blues and Bliss

Facebook, Social Media Impairs Real-Life Communication

Facebook and social networking are bubbles. They occupy a lot of time and airspace for a significant number of people. A spectrum of users interact instantly and globally. We don't yet know what all the impacts will be. From my own experiences, I see that digital interaction impairs face-to-face communication. Here's how and why I think excessive social networking should be avoided. As a dear friend on Yahoo! said, "it can't replace a smile, a conversation or a hug." Words to live by. Facebook, Social Media Impairs Real-Life Communication

Mental Health: How Being an Empath Can Ruin Relationships

14 years ago, I discovered I'm an empath. I always knew, even as a child, that I felt others pain, but it was good to discover that intense sensitivity had a name. Empath Guide defines it well: Criticism, suffering, hurt, humiliation, shame are hard enough for me to bear. Watching others feel them is agonizing. Knowing I'm an empath explains a lot about my interpersonal struggles. It can ruin or heal relationships.  Mental Health: How Being an Empath Can Ruin Relationships

Natural Weight Loss Supplements, Fat Burners

I put on 100 pounds after losing two babies and taking an antidepressent. That's me at a heavier point in 2012. I started dieting 18 months ago, but got serious about it six months ago. I began counting calories in earnest and weeding out junk food out. Then I tried some herbal supplements that have really boosted the weight loss. I'd shaved off 55 pounds when I wrote this. Now I've lost 98 total. Right is me in March 2014. I've waited to recommend them to see if they really work and they do. If you're trying to lose weight here, are diet supplements to help.  Natural Weight Loss Supplements, Fat Burners