Pro-life Duggars shun unwed mom and baby, would they shun Mary and baby Jesus? - Grand Rapids Holidays | Examiner.com

Have the Duggars of TLC's "19 Kids and Counting" lost their Christmas spirit? The super-sized family is turning a Scrooge eye on daughter-in-law Anna's unwed sister Susanna Keller and her baby, said Radar Online Dec. 11. It's ironic anti-abortion Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar would shun Keller when she kept her baby. And it begs a larger question: would the hardcore pro-life, fundamentalist Christian Duggars also shun Jesus and his mom?   Pro-life Duggars shun unwed mom and baby, would they shun Mary and baby Jesus? - Grand Rapids Holidays | Examiner.com

Dillard's "Dear Santa" sign is idiotic, low and downright dangerous to girls - Grand Rapids Holidays | Examiner.com

Stores are in competition for our holiday shopping buck. We get that. But at least one is downright desperate. Dillard's is willing to stoop to insulting and shaming little girls. A Florida Dillard's department store featured a children's clothing display with a sign that read "Dear Santa, please bring me a big fat bank account and a slim body. Don't mix them up like you did last year." Really.

Yahoo Parenting reported on the Dillard's Dear Santa sign November 11.



Annoying? Without a doubt. Snarky holiday ads get stupider every year. Tacky? Yep. And getting worse every year, too. But dangerous?Absolutely and doubly so. First, is the suggestion that children are greedy, or should be. A big bank account? What so they can blow it--at Dillard's of course--on overpriced junk? With credit card debt through the roof in the U.S., maybe it's time for less Christmas shopping not more?  Dillard's "Dear Santa" sign is idiotic, low and downright dangerous to girls - Grand Rapids Holidays | Examiner.com

Drug-free psoriasis treatments you can start today

Happy World Psoriasis Day, October 29. Well, maybe happy is the wrong word. Psoriasis is anything-but-pleasant red, scaly skin lesions. Psoriasis is ugly, itchy and painful. It's not contagious, but makes socializing awkward. And it's chronic--sufferers never get over it. Flare-ups can make you downright miserable. The best solution is to see a dermatologist. But there are also at-home treatments you can start today to control flare-ups.Drug-free psoriasis treatments you can start today

 

Common and Potentially Deadly Myths About Obstructive Sleep Apnea

I was diagnosed with OSA--Obstructive Sleep Apnea-- in 2010. I began sleeping with a CPAP (continuous positive air pressure) breathing machine. It's not perfect, but it's helped me sleep better. It's possibly saved my life.

I've always had sleep problems. Now that I know why, I've researched sleep apnea. I've found a lot of misinformation circulated by those who don't have it. Some myths are just mean stereotyping. Others are plain dangerous. Here are prevailing misconceptions and corrections. Common and Potentially Deadly Myths About Obstructive Sleep Apnea

Relationships Fails and Wins, How to Vent Anger without Dumping on Your Partner

Anger is a normal emotion. It's not right or wrong. Venting anger is healthy if done right. But venting can quickly turn to dumping if ground rules aren't observed. Dumping on your partner is an epic relationship fail. What differentiates venting from dumping? Dumping is blame and shame oriented and destructive. Healthy venting is sharing-based, respectful and goal-oriented. Use these fixes to turn anger dumping fails into productive sharing wins!Relationships Fails and Wins, How to Vent Anger without Dumping on Your Partner

 

Relationship Fails and Wins: How to Actively Listen Without Getting Taken Advantage of

Life is stressful, can we just agree? So it's normal for us to feel anger and to bring that anger into our relationships. That sounds like it should be a bad thing. And it is if anger isn't expressed or handled properly. Anger dumped on others is a major relationship fail.



But, ironically, so is not communicating anger at all. Bottled negative emotion turns septic. It seeps out in ugly and passive-aggressive ways. When people stew over old hurts, and don't release them, the anger has nowhere to go.



Sometimes, anger that was originally directed elsewhere, becomes personal. An objective or public issue starts getting played out on the subjective, private stage of intimate relationships. In already shaky relationships, repressed rage can even turn vindictive. Innocent people get punished for things they had nothing to do with. Children helplessly watch family members hurt each other. They in turn stuff their feelings. They pass on generations of toxic anger. It becomes a vicious cycle, figuratively and literally.



But there is hope. If you learn to communicate and share problems in healthy ways, it can actually make your relationships stronger. Venting anger safely requires two things: respect on the part of the one venting and active listening on the other's part. Here's how to show empathy without getting taken advantage of. Read more by clicking the link.   Relationship Fails and Wins: How to Actively Listen Without Getting Taken Advantage of

Manipulative Abusers in Relationships Know the Behaviors and Beware

What is manipulative behavior? It's coercive, shaming and hurtful. We've all been manipulative at times. A manipulative abuser's behavior isn't occasional or situational. It's chronic. Manipulative abuse isn't obvious. It's covert and passive-aggressive. And therefore so much more dangerous. Manipulative abusers have been called different things: sadist, control freak, sociopaths, invalidator. Bottom line--they like hurting people.

 Why do people become manipulative abusers? There are many possible reasons: intense self-esteem issues, delusions of grandeur, religious mania, alcoholism, substance abuse, abuse issues in childhood, even brain damage. Two things are certain: manipulative behavior is sick and dangerous. If you're the target of a manipulative abuser, know it's the manipulator's problem and not yours'. Learn to recognize the traits.


 -Bizarre communication patterns. He'll make provocative statements, ask leading questions, bait you into an argument, trap you into some imagined falsehood. He is trying to back you into a corner.


  -Backhanded compliments. '"Well you finally found a nice shirt." "You made dinner for once?" Their "compliments" are thinly disguised insults. When you call her on it, she gets offended and accuses you of not being able to accept a compliment.


  -Humiliation. When you speak, he ignores, contradicts or belittles. He says "you're not making any sense"though he's been interrupting, twisting your words and arguing with you since the conversation began. He prefers to do this publicly.

-Inappropriate humor. He thinks shaming people is funny. He'll tease and mock. He interrupts your serious talk to say dumb things for laughs. He makes faces behind your back. He says its to "lighten the situation." Funny, if you do it to him, it's not so funny.


  -Second guess. She'll speak "for" you in conversation with others, explain what you mean. She pooh-poohs you. She says she's "translating" or "interpreting" what you said. Her goal is to undermine you, make you feel stupid and make others think you can't speak for yourself.


  -Nonverbal warfare He's an exhibitionist and a drama queen. He uses implication, gesture, body language, innuendo and tone of voice to perfection. He has  a fully-stocked arsenal of psychological tricks and mind games to keep you second guessing yourself and looking over your shoulder. If confronted, he turns the tables in a crazy game of point-counterpoint.


  -Break promises. They lie, arrive late and 'forget' to call. They screw up but do it in such a way it looks like your fault. Then they blame you. They like seeing you awkward, embarrassed, confused and nervous. They remain always the "good guy."

-Exaggerate. They seize upon your every mistake and blow it out of proportion. They manufacture things you supposedly did. Abusers follow you, check up on you, question your judgment and motives. They defend their distrust and disrespect by either blaming you for "being paranoid" or saying you're unworthy of trust or respect.


 -Lack of responsibility. With the same energy they attack your mistakes, they downplay their own. If they admit mistakes, it's in a backhanded way that says it was really someone else's fault.


  -Law unto themselves. They expect the impossible of you and nothing of themselves.
They make up rules as they go. They change rules randomly, expect you to read their minds and adhere to their contorted rules.


  -Manipulators literally live in their own world.


  Manipulative abusers will trample you down and leave you to bleed. They will make you believe that it was all your fault, you deserved to punished and they only did it for your own good. And then they will move on to the next victim and convince him that you were an evil person and repeat procedure. Please. Don't be that victim.

10 Reasons You're Irritable, Plus Healing Mood Lifters

 I admit it--I struggle with chronic grouchiness. That might surprise you as generally, I'm cheerful. That's because I've learned to dig beneath the irritability to the root causes. Here are ten reasons you're a grouch and 10 things you can do about it. 10 Reasons You're Irritable, Plus Healing Mood Lifters

Codependent Recovery Using Al-Anon Slogans

I am a recovering codependent. I'm also an empath--I feel everyone's pain and take on their problems. I can't recover from that--it's how I'm made. And I don't want to. But I can find healthier ways to cope. Here are recovery tips for codependents and empaths using Al-Anon slogans.  How to Recover From Codependency Using Al-Anon Slogans

Panic Attack Survival Tools: Emergency Kit for Coping with Anxiety

Do you struggle with chronic anxiety? Do you, like me, default to panic over healthy responses? Do you come out guns blazing or retreat in the face of stress. Fight or flight is a common though no healthy, coping skill. Taming anxiety takes time and work (I've been at it all my life). No matter how much progress you make, it never quite goes away. Here's an emergency kit of A-Z panic attack survival tips.  Panic Attack Survival Tools: Emergency Kit for Anxiety